Featured STORY**


Rachel Nichols graciously accepts her new role as token white girl


In order to check a diversity box, ESPN hired Maria Taylor to host NBA Countdown, instead of Rachel Nichols. Also, due to her light skin pigmentation, Rachel Nichols will not work as a sideline reporter during the 2021 NBA finals. In a scripted statement, Rachel Nichols expressed her gratitude for having been demoted.


“I am deeply, deeply certain that Maria Taylor is the best person for any job at ESPN. She is black and I am white. I understand that dark skin pigmentation alone supersedes my degree in journalism, my work experience, and my seniority at ESPN. I wasn’t planning on retiring for at least another 10 years, but now, in light of the Black Lives Matter movement, I will gladly retire at any moment if any woman of color wishes to replace me. I absolutely LOVE working for such a woke company, especially when it's my career that's on the chopping block.”


Nichols also went on to say how much she appreciated her colleagues at ESPN for leaking audio of her to the NY Times.


“My white privilege also led me to believe that I had privacy rights. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I want to thank my co-workers at ESPN for backstabbing me and thank ESPN for embracing such a hostile work environment. In fact, I hereby give up all of my rights to ESPN. Please eavesdrop on me anywhere and at any time.”


Sum Ting Wong

Sum started his career by piloting paper airplanes and pranking TV stations. Now he's a fiction writer for us here at the Atlantis Enquirer.