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Geriatric Joe accidentally gives Putin the nuclear codes

President Biden's cognitive decline was on full display at the summit in Geneva, Switzerland. The meeting started out innocent enough.

BIDEN: Hello Mr. Putin. Nice to meet you. I’m Jill Biden’s wife.

PUTIN: Hello Mr. Biden. I happy to finally to meet to you.

But, 5 minutes into the meeting, Biden lost his ability to focus and began yearning for his usual afternoon nap. That's when Putin made his move to pick Biden's pocket.

BIDEN: Diplomacy is always [unitelligaible]... that's what we're here for, I believe.

PUTIN: I glad we have zis meeting. Diplomacy iz very much important. If in future I need contact to you by telephone, perhaps you give to me ze nuclear codes?

BIDEN: Absolutely. The code is 7, 4, 0, 1, [classified], 2, 6.

PUTIN: Very well. I will keep zis telephone number and we shall be in contact.

The two shook hands, and Putin quickly left the room. Minutes later, upon reviewing a transcript of the conversation, secret service discovered the mishap and alerted U.S. Central Command to change the nuclear codes. As it turns out, the codes were changed in just the nick of time. The Russians already had the United States’ entire nuclear arsenal in countdown mode to launch harmlessly into the ocean, which would have essentially rendered our nuclear capability powerless.

Kamala Harris downplayed the incident, stating that systemic racism is a greater threat than nuclear war.


Sum Ting Wong

Sum started his career by piloting paper airplanes and pranking TV stations. Now he's a fiction writer for us here at the Atlantis Enquirer.