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Chris Christie rubber Gumby toy unveiled

It's big and fat enough to close an entire New Jersey toll lane, yet flexible enough to radically change shape to please anybody, such as after an election.

Looking for that perfect gag gift for Christmas? Or do you just want to teach your kid a valuable lesson about what not to grow up to be? This would be the perfect stocking stuffer if it could actually fit in a stocking. This life-size rubber toy is as big as a newborn whale. If your kid gets sick of it, don't worry. You can make it radically change shape. Suddenly the kid way down the street no longer thinks of Christie Gumby as a neighborhood embarrassment. Now that rubber toy is all the rage at your democrat neighbor's house.


Joe King

Joe is an unrelenting liar and so we hired him. In case you're wondering, we hired him before the whole 'diversity' thing took hold. But don't worry. We have social justice warriors monitoring his every move on social media. One errant tweet and he's fired!