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Liz Cheney's political career commits suicide, drowns self in DC swamp

We are saddened to report that Wyoming Congresswoman Liz Cheney's political career has committed suicide in an intentional drowning in Washington DC. She had been reported missing on January 14th after she voted to impeach President Trump, but it wasn't until 3 days later that a jogger discovered her rotting political corpse lying face down in a swamp adjacent to the Capitol Building. The Coroner was able to positively ID her body because she carried a Republican ID, but had the undeniable foul stench of a Democrat. Sobbing supporters left flowers outside her office, while Democrats and RINO's applauded the tragedy in a disgusting display of heartlessness.

Friends said that they never saw this coming. As recently as last year, Liz appearing to be upbeat and happy about Donald Trump. However, one friend said that Liz had recently been begun hanging out with some very bad people, and was likely keeping it a secret that her life had entered a dark place.

"These bad actors told Liz that Donald Trump is the devil and that by supporting Trump, she was Hitler. I believe that they shamed her into believing that she was worthless. They killed her!" a close friend said.

Some have speculated that her father Dick Cheney disapproved of her love affair with Donald Trump and that he had always wanted Liz to be in love with Jeb Bush instead. This family pressure likely created conflict which only added to her depression.

Funeral services are planned for this weekend. In lieu of flowers, the Cheney family have asked for mourners to send donations to the Democrat party or to RINO’s like Mitt Romney.


Jo Kerr

Joanne is an aspiring model, but she'll settle for doing this job for now. We're not gonna lie. She's not the greatest journalist. We hired Joanne because she's hot and we could always use some eye candy around the office.