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U2 to travel by hot air balloons for 2021 world tour in order to fight climate change.

U2 is one of the most socially conscious bands on our doomed earth. And so it's no surprise that they have now jumped on the climate change hysteria bandwagon. Bono announced today that they have scrapped using cargo jets to lug their equipment around for their 2021 tour, instead opting to use hot air balloons.

When I asked Bono how hot air will move 500 tons of props, gear and equipment, he gave thought for about 10 seconds, then replied "But this is gonna save the planet"

Meanwhile, the Edge is working with Gibson Guitars to develop a bio-degradable guitar called the Les Trash. It will sound like crap and the strings break after about one song, but it sure feels good to know that it's built to decompose within 10 years. U2's virtue signaling is so infectious that I might travel by skateboard to the next U2 concert!



Joanne is an aspiring model, but she'll settle for doing this job for now. We're not gonna lie. She's not the greatest journalist. We hired Joanne because she's hot and we could always use some eye candy around the office.